Why Love Wasn't Coming

On the surface, this week’s podcast episode sounds like a love story.

A woman in her prime.
An eight-year relationship that ends.
Eight years single.
And then — finally — the love of her life.

It would be easy to package it that way. Clean. Romantic. Neatly tied with a bow.

But when you scratch beneath the surface, that’s not really what this story is about at all.

It’s not about a woman waiting eight years for the right man.

It’s about a woman spending eight years becoming the woman who could receive him.

There’s a difference.

When I sat down with Carla Salteris, what struck me most wasn’t the timeline. It was the turning point. After her long-term relationship ended, she did what so many of us do — she searched outside herself. She dated. She hoped. She questioned what was wrong. She carried the quiet weight of, “If that didn’t work, what does that say about me?”

And if we’re honest, that’s the real funk.

It’s not the breakup itself. It’s the subtle erosion of self-trust and self-worth that can follow it. It’s the quiet fear that maybe you missed your chance. Maybe you’re not enough. Maybe love just isn’t in the cards for you.

What Carla eventually realized — and what I think so many high-achieving women need to hear — is that she wasn’t blocked from love because she hadn’t found the right person. She was blocked because she hadn’t yet shifted her energy.

And that’s the part we don’t always want to hear.

We live in a culture that teaches us to solve everything externally. New strategy. New dating app. New city. New routine. But energetically, she was still carrying fear, resentment, and patterns from the past. On the outside, she believed she was worthy. But in her body, the energy didn’t match.

That’s such a powerful distinction.

Self-worth isn’t something you declare. It’s something you embody. It’s felt. It’s lived. It shows up in how you choose, how you detach, and how you allow.

For Carla, the shift didn’t happen overnight. It happened through getting back into her body. Through slowing down. Through yoga, acupuncture, stillness. Through doing the inner work to forgive herself and release the old narrative. Through learning to detach from controlling the outcome — the “how” and the “when” — and focusing instead on who she was becoming.

She stopped gripping.

She stopped trying to force.

She started aligning.

And that’s when everything changed.

Not because she chased harder. Not because she lowered her standards. Not because she manipulated the universe into delivering something.

But because she became a match for what she said she wanted.

When her energy shifted, she was open in a way she hadn’t been before. She wasn’t scanning the room with old lenses on. She wasn’t measuring every interaction against a checklist. She was present. Curious. Available.

And ironically, the love she had been waiting for had been right in front of her.

It wasn’t a fairy tale. It wasn’t dramatic. It wasn’t scripted. It was aligned.

The most interesting thing about this story is that once her internal alignment shifted, it wasn’t just her relationship that changed. Her experience of abundance expanded. Motherhood unfolded. Life felt richer. More grounded. More whole.

That’s why I keep coming back to this idea that it’s not a love story — it’s an energy story.

And this applies far beyond relationships.

You can have success and still feel blocked. You can have money and still feel empty. You can have the house and still feel unsettled. When something isn’t flowing, it’s worth asking: what energy am I bringing into this space?

Are you gripping? Or are you grounded?

Are you chasing? Or are you aligned?

Are you operating from fear? Or from trust?

If you’re walking through your own relationship funk right now — whether that’s heartbreak, loneliness, or simply feeling disconnected — maybe the question isn’t, “When will I find the right person?”

Maybe the better question is, “Who am I becoming in this season?”

Because sometimes the eight years aren’t a delay.

They’re preparation.

And when your self-worth, your health, your desires, and your energy finally line up, you don’t have to chase what’s meant for you.

You become magnetic to it.

Grab Carla's Frequency Shift here.