Raging Against Your Soul

I don’t think we talk about this kind of funk enough. Not the obvious kind, not the “everything is falling apart” kind. I’m talking about the one where everything actually looks fine. You’ve got the job, you’re making good money, and from the outside people would probably say you’re doing really well. And yet… you wake up tired. You go through the motions. You find yourself wondering why this doesn’t feel better than it does.

And then comes the part that really keeps you stuck — you tell yourself you shouldn’t feel this way. Because technically, nothing is wrong. So you keep going. You keep showing up, you keep playing the role, you keep maintaining the version of your life that you’ve built because it’s what you worked for and it’s what you’re “supposed” to want. But underneath all of that, there’s this quiet tension. Like something just isn’t lining up.

That’s exactly what Kristen described in this episode, and the way she said it stopped me in my tracks. She said it felt like she was raging against her soul. Not bored. Not mildly dissatisfied. Raging. And I think a lot of us have felt some version of that… we just haven’t used those words for it, because it’s uncomfortable to admit — especially when your life looks good on paper.

But here’s the part that really hit me: that feeling isn’t random. It’s not you being ungrateful. It’s not you just needing a break. And it’s definitely not something you’re supposed to ignore. It’s information. More often than not, it’s the beginning of something trying to shift.

The tricky part is that when you finally slow down enough to listen, the guidance doesn’t always come in the way you’d expect. It’s not always logical. It’s not always convenient. And it definitely doesn’t come with a full plan. Sometimes it looks like a nudge that makes absolutely no sense. In Kristen’s case, it was, “Post your spiritual gifts on TikTok.” Which, if we’re being honest, is probably not the answer most of us are hoping for when we’re trying to figure our lives out.

But that’s kind of the point. When you start reconnecting — with God, with your intuition, with whatever that looks like for you — the guidance shows up. Just not always in a way your logical brain can immediately validate. And that’s where most people get stuck. Because we want the plan. We want the certainty. We want to know it’s going to work before we move.

What this conversation reinforced for me is that you don’t get the whole plan. You get the next step. And usually, it’s the one you’ve been avoiding.

So if you’re in that place right now — where everything looks fine, but something inside of you is telling you this isn’t it — instead of trying to figure everything out, maybe the better question is: what’s the next thing I feel nudged to do?

Not the five-year plan.

Not the perfectly mapped-out pivot.

Just the next best step.

Because more often than not, that’s where everything starts to change.